越過生命的那一座山─女性的登山體驗與登山對其生命經驗的影響

Abstract

本研究由筆者個人的登山經驗與觀察出發，欲就「山上是沒有性別的」、「女生當男生用，男生當畜牲用」等這些在登山場域中習以為常的說法進行解謎；並採取質性研究的取徑，深度訪談11位熱愛登山的女性，輔以參與觀察及文本分析，以理解女性的登山體驗與觀點，並描繪登山與女性生命之間的關聯性。帶有女性主義視角的休閒研究以及近年來學術領域對於性別化流動的關注，則有助於筆者看見往返於山上與山下、穿梭在休閒與日常生活等不同時空當中女性的處境。 人們來到山上，遠離了社會、遠離了日常生活情境，也可能因此脫去了山下的性別外衣，「做自己」以及擁有單純而真實的人際關係成為可能；但不論是就登山者生理的或社會的身體來看，或從登山團體中的分工型態與人際互動中的展演而言，仍可發現隱含於其中的性別意涵。透過女性對於登山文化的觀察，也有助於我們反思登山場域中的男子氣概以及幾個具有支配性意義的陽性觀點。此外，女性在登山過程中跨越了實際或隱喻的邊界，接觸不同地理空間或生活方式，也見到各樣面貌的他人與自己，種種反身思性考與實踐行動都在日常生活中持續發酵或產生衝突，並展現在身體、自我、人際互動、價值觀以及生涯等面向上。這些流動經驗促使女性在下山後自我賦權、勇於追求屬於自己的生活方式甚至是生命中的自我實現，而某些女性在成為母親─經歷了無法上山的陣痛期─之後，則再次反思流動與定著的意義。 這份研究指出存在於女性登山者之間多樣的登山體驗、展現出多樣的女性氣質，並且策略性地再現女聲，期望在與主流價值觀對話的過程中推闊對登山的可能想像，藉此希望每位登山者─不論男女─都能在登山的旅程中找到建構自我認同的途徑。透過這份研究也可見到登山女性在時間與空間之流中所劃下的主體建構軌跡；而不論她們目前是否仍走向山去，山，其實不曾自她們的生命中遠離。

The research starts with the researcher’s experiences and observations on mountain climbing, who wants to disclosure the myths of certain common ideas in the field of mountain climbing, such as “there is no gender differences when going mountain climbing,” “females serve as males, and males serve as animals”, etc. A qualitative analysis is presented on female mountain climbing experiences as well as the relationship between mountain climbing and female lives, based on the interviews with 11 females who enjoy going mountain climbing very much. Both participant observation and text analysis are applied to this work too. Feminist perspectives on women’s leisure and recent academic attention on gendered flows help the researcher to discover the situation women are in when they shuttle among in-and-out-of the mountains, leisure and everyday life. In the process of climbing mountain and being away from human society, people might also put away their gender identity. Therefore, “being myself” and having genuine relationships with others become plausible. However, gender stereotypes are still found in a physical or social way, and in the gender performance of the division of labor and in human interaction. Women’s observation helps us to reflect on the masculine and dominant perspectives in the mountain-climbing field. Besides, females stride across the concrete or metaphorical boundary of gender, contact different geographical space and life styles and then see various dimensions of others and selves. All the reflective thinking and action are aroused and cause conflicts, which are shown in body, self, human interactions, values, and careers too. When females are out of the mountains, these experiences of flow contribute to women’s empowerment, encouragement of pursuing one’s own life style and even self-realization. Some women reflect again on what the meaning of flow and rootedness is after becoming mothers. This work presents different female mountain-climbing experiences and various characteristics among female climbers, strategically representing women’s voices and expecting to extend the imaginary space of mountain climbing by having conversations with mainstream values. Therefore, hopefully each climber can find his or her own way to construct self-identification. Furthermore, the traces are also found in this work that female climbers actively construct their self-identification in the flow of time and space; no matter how their lives are going, the mountains are never away from their lives.