攜手走向愛情－輕症自閉症者的愛情經驗

Abstract

自閉症人口逐年上升，相關研究也逐年提升，多著重在行為的改變與職涯技能的訓練，其中自閉症者在親密關係的需求容易被忽視。現行自閉症者成功發展戀愛經驗者相對少數，因此自閉症者、家長與專業人員難以藉由經驗、文章瞭解自閉症者進入戀愛歷程的樣貌與困境，難以從經驗中借鏡與學習。 本研究採質性敘事方法，滾雪球抽樣方式招募受試者，瞭解3位輕度自閉症者進入戀愛的主觀經驗與過程，及2位自閉症伴侶的互動經驗。研究發現自閉症難以了解什麼是愛？但卻願意透過行動來表達我愛你，並直接了當確認彼此心愛。自閉症者直接、毫無隱藏的表達方式，在成長過程容易成為被訕笑者，但在愛情中卻成為他們優勢，成功開展戀情。第二部分男性自閉症者難以掌握與異性互動的界線，因此在戀愛關係上產生挑戰，但透過同儕、自我學習以及另一半的提醒與引導，逐漸學習在個人情感需求與另一半的相互尊重、平衡。另一部分研究結果顯示自閉症於擇偶偏好與非自閉症者差異不大，男性受訪者起初皆以以外型為主；女性受訪者則以內在契合度為重，但男性受訪者透過時機成熟、同儕的引導逐漸看到彼此關係的互動本質。第三部分3位受訪者能成功發展長期的親密關係，關鍵在於溝通與包容，自閉症者個人必須要學習傾聽另一半的聲音，適時調整自己的行為。另一伴也扮演重要的角色，適時的引導與調整自我心境。自閉症者與另一半相互的尊重與包容，讓這段平等的關係能順利的發展。最後是現行缺乏個別化的自閉症性教育課程，因此自閉症成長過程缺乏正確、適當的引導與討論，發展戀情的技巧須自行摸索，或透過他人的協助，其中研究結果發現，同儕提供有效且個別的策略成功的改變自閉症的戀愛價值觀與提升其戀愛技巧。 依據此結果，本研究提出以下三個研究建議：（一）提升自閉症者性教育課程內容深度與廣度;（二）提升自閉症父母性教育知能;（三）自閉症者需練習彈性、傾聽。

The autism spectrum disorder (ASD) population has seen an annual growth; related studies have also shown a similar trend. However, these studies have mainly focused on the behavioral changes of people with ASD and providing them with job skill training, but their needs for intimate relationships are often ignored. Only a small percentage of people with ASD have been able to have a romantic relationship Therefore, people with ASD, their parents, and related professionals have a difficult time finding related studies and using ASD people’s experiences to understand ASD people’s romantic relationships as well as the problems they encounter. Subsequently, ASD people’s experiences cannot be used as examples for other people with ASD to learn. In this study, a qualitative research method and the snowball sampling method were employed to recruit participants. The study subsequently learned the subjective experiences of three people with mild autism spectrum disorder in developing a romantic relationship and the interactive experiences between two people with ASD. The study results are as follows: Although people with ASD had a difficult time understanding what love was, they were willing to express their love for each other through their actions, and were direct in confirming each other’s love. The way in which ASD people expressed their love (i.e., direct and holding nothing back) could easily made them targets of ridicule as they grew up. However, this behavior helped them to successfully find their mates. Second, men with ASD were more prone to crossing the boundary when interacting with the opposite sex, which hurt their chances to be in a romantic relationship. However, through peer- and self-learning as well as receiving the reminders and guidance from their mates, they gradually learned to respect their mates’ emotional needs, achieving favorable romantic relationship balance. Some studies have shown no significant differences in mating preferences between people with ASD and those without ASD. The male participants indicated that physical appearance was the primary factor determining whether they dated another person, whereas the female participants indicated that emotional bond (i.e., whether the other person was their “soul mate”) was the primary factor. Nevertheless, over time and through the guidance of their peers, the male participants gradually became aware that interaction serves as the true nature of their relationship with their mates. Third, of the three participants who were in a long-term intimate relationship, the key to maintaining this relationship was communication and being tolerant. People with ASD were required to listen to the needs of their mates and adjust their behavior in a timely manner. Concurrently, their mates were required to provide timely guidance and to adjust their own mental states. People with ASD and their mates respecting and being tolerant of each other were essential to maintaining a smooth and equal relationship. Finally, the lack of personalized ASD sexual education prevented people with ASD from having correct, appropriate guidance and engaging in relevant discussions as they grew up. To develop the skills needed for entering a romantic relationship, people with ASD must endeavor in self-exploration and receive others’ assistance. The study results showed that peers providing effective and individualized strategies can successfully change ASD people’s views on romantic love and improve their skills to be in a romantic relationship. Accordingly, this study proposed the following recommendations: (a) Increase the depth and breadth of sexuality education for people with ASD; (b) Elevate the sexual education knowledge and skills of the parents of people with ASD; and (c) Have people with ASD practice being flexible and able to listen to the needs of their mates. Key words: Mild Autism spectrum disorder；Romantic relationship；Date；Intimate relationship；Marriage