讓我們分手吧：分手作為社會互動和認同轉變的過程

Abstract

本研究是從分手作為一個社會互動和認同轉變過程的角度，透過質性訪談法收集分手經驗的資料，來探討分手現象。既然是從社會互動的角度出發，本研究一方面是將分手過程放在社會互動的背景下來理解，理解分手當事人在分手過程中與他人的互動情形，二方面則從分手互動著手，討論分手情侶雙方在分手過程中的互動情形，分手過程中可能存在的互動規則，以及分手情侶關係的轉變。在分手過程中，關係中的分手意圖不滿訊息的「傳遞者」不見得就是提出分手要求的「提分手者」，而訊息的「接收者」也不見得就是「被分手者」，於是，本研究以這兩組角色組的一致與否為第一層的分類標準，以分手行為傳遞出分手要求的直接和間接程度為第二層分類標準，劃分作四種分手互動類型：「第一型」、「第二型」、「第三型」、「第四型」，以上述的分手互動類型為架構，針對前三種互動類型進行討論，搭配分手過程的時間階段—分手前、分手中、分手後，理解分手互動的內容與規則。 而從「關係轉變」的角度來看，分手不只是作為交往關係的結束，它同時也意謂著分手情侶雙方關係的轉變，於是，除了探討分手互動的內容與規則之外，本研究加入了認同意義轉變的討論，探討分手當事人會在分手過程的哪一個時間階段認定雙方成為分手關係，並探討自我意義在分手過程時間階段中的變化。

Breaking up is formerly investigated by various approaches. Some researchers developed stage models to describe the process of breaking up. In those models, there is a dyad phase in which two partners interact. This research develops a framework with two dimensions in order to interpret the contents and rules in the process of breaking up. One dimension is the consistency of the receiving/sending role. This dimension address the issue that the one sending breaking up message may or may not be the one who initiate the breaking up process. The other dimension is the directness of breaking up actions, which can be either a direct proposal or an indirect refusal to interact. Therefore, there are four interaction types in this framework. We discuss the first three interaction types in this research. Furthermore, participants interact not only with their former romantic partners, but also with their social friends for suggestions and supports, while only few participants turn to their family members, teachers and the professionals. The second emphasis of this study is identity transformation. Identity transformation refers how two people in the relationship realized they are two separated individual, rather than a couple in a romantic relationship. As identity of relationship transform, the participants showed decreased self confidence. But after they walked through the darkness, they showed increased self-esteem. This research interviews 11 participants to collect their experiences in breaking up processes.