「一種不屬於我的語言」：《蒙馬特遺書》與《睪固酮藥癮》中作為自理論策略的語言邊界拓展

Abstract

新興的「自理論」（autotheory）文類，指的是將批判理論與回憶錄相結合，試圖「書寫自我」的寫作形式。自理論的典型特徵包括：作者將自身經驗視為理論的契機；闡述其個人如何嵌入所描述的社會結構之中；以及將個人關係視為形塑其思想的重要因素。在本論文中，我將保羅·普雷西亞多（Paul Preciado）的《Testo Junkie》與邱妙津 （Qiu Miaojin）的《蒙馬特最後的話》視為自理論文本，並論證語言創新是兩位作者透過書寫闡述酷兒自我的自理論計畫的核心。邱嬌金在以中文為主的文本中跨語言地融入英語與法語，以此表達一個已超越國界與語言界限的自我；她運用日益擴大的表達範圍，反映出透過性解放與跨文化教育所產生的自我拓展。普雷西亞多（Preciado）創造新詞並「策略性地誤用」術語——這個概念我借用自海倫·赫斯特（Helen Hester）——以此作為發明一種「酷兒方言」的手段，這種方言能夠容納現有語言與話語體系之外的非二元性別自我。現有學術研究對「自理論」的語言創舉關注不足，本論文希望彌補此一缺口。此外，本文以原創的「自理論」作為開篇與結語，將我的生命置於所探討文本的脈絡之中，並闡明我的自理論關係，藉此實踐我關於「自理論」乃是正當的理論與學術模式之論點。

The nascent genre of autotheory describes writing that combines critical theory and memoir in an attempt to “write the self.” Typical features of autotheory include authors discussing their own personal experience as the impetus for theory, their personal embeddedness in the social structures they describe, and their personal relationships as intellectually formative. In this thesis, I read Paul Preciado’s Testo Junkie and Qiu Miaojin’s Last Words from Montmartre as autotheoretical texts and argue that linguistic invention is central to both authors’ autotheoretical project of articulating a queer self in writing. Qiu translingually incorporates English and French into a primarily Chinese text as a means of expressing a self that has transcended national and linguistic boundaries, using her increased range of expression to reflect the self-expansion that occurs through her sexual liberation and transcultural education. Preciado coins neologisms and “strategically misuses” terms – a concept I borrow from Helen Hester – as a means of inventing a “queer dialect” that can accommodate a nonbinary-gendered self outside of existing languages and discourses. Autotheory’s linguistic invention has been undercovered in existing scholarship, a gap this thesis hopes to rectify. I also begin and conclude with original autotheory that places my life in the context of the texts I discuss and articulates my autotheoretical relationships, which enacts my contention that autotheory is a legitimate theoretical and scholarly mode.