家庭沙塵暴—兒時曾目睹父母間暴力成年子女人際拉扯經驗

Abstract

本研究目的在於了解兒時曾目睹父母間暴力成年子女與父母關係變化與自我分化歷程內涵，採用深度訪談法訪談9位年齡26歲至45歲間之受訪者，並從中分析成年子女親子關係變化模式與自我分化策略。研究結果如下： 1.親子關係變化模式包括四個類型：「捲入到拉開距離型」、「代罪羔羊到與父母糾結型」、「介入衝突到與母緊密型」以及「與母緊密到與父母疏離型」。 2.目睹子女常見的低度自我分化類型有：「疏離與情緒切割」、「情緒共融」以及「夫妻一方外遇」、「子女作為代罪羔羊」以及「子女進入戰場」等親子三角關係。 3.子女可採用的自我分化策略包括認知層面、情緒層面、行為層面以及自我實現層面等四個面向，認知層面強調「父母的事情由父母去處理」以及「允許自己對父母有負面觀感」，情緒層面建議目睹子女需重視自己的情緒與感受，行動層面建議可言語表達自己的感覺與想法，引導父母改變說法與互動方式以及自我實現層面，建議子女找出自己的想望，發展自己人生的道路。 4.本研究發現華人文化中強調之孝道文化使得子女自我分化更為糾結艱困，但也同時自我分化強調的生命連帶性與個體性拉扯平衡在華人社會中更顯重要。

The purpose of this study is to understand the change in the relationship between adult children who exposed to parental violence in childhood and parents and the process of self-differentiation of adult children. The study interviewed 9 research participants between the ages of 26 and 45 and analyze the parent-child relationship change patterns and self-differentiation strategies. The research results are as follows: 1.The parent-child relationship change patterns includes four type: “involve in to extend distance”, “being scapegoat to entangle with mother”, “involve in conflict to entangle with mother” and “entangle with mother to extend distance with parents”. 2.Adult children’s low self-differentiation type include “emotion alienation and emotion cutoff”, “emotion fusion” and “triangle parent-child relationship”. 3.Adult children’s self-differentiation strategies include “cognitive level”, “emotional level”, “action level” and “self-realization level”. 4.The study also finds that the the filial piety culture emphasized in Chinese culture makes children's self-differentiation more difficult, but at the same time, the self-differentiation which emphasizes the balance of togetherness and individuality is an important issue in the Chinese society.