我的母親與我：母親在單親女性離婚歷程當中扮演的角色

Abstract

隨著離婚率攀升，女性單親家庭相關議題漸被重視，本研究之目的乃希望了解母親在單親女性離婚歷程當中扮演的角色，並探討母女兩代在離婚歷程當中的互動及關係的轉變，以提供社會工作者未來在實務工作中的參考。 本研究運用敘說研究之深入訪談法，邀請9位離婚2年以上未再婚、擁有18歲以下子女監護權及目前或曾經接受社會福利資源支持之單親女性敘說她們的生命故事。 研究發現：一、母親在單親女性決定離婚與否過程中所扮演的角色仍深受傳統文化所影響，採取「勸和不勸離」、避免當「壞娘家」的角色，然在看見女兒在婚姻中所受的委屈後，母愛會促使部分母親擺脫傳統文化的束縛，支持女兒提出離婚。二、在爭取監護權上，大多母親基於不願讓女兒辛苦而反對爭取監護權，然若原生家庭有人手能提供孫子女照顧上的協助，則母親較不會因擔憂而反對。三、在單親女性回歸原生家庭的過程中，母親所扮演的角色受限於傳統性別角色分工，仍以傾聽與家務支持為主，涉及經濟支持的部份，則需透過偷偷來或徵求同意後，才能提供協助，然有些母親因傳統的「面子」觀念以及華人文化，而選擇跟離婚的女兒保持界線。四、兩代在離婚歷程中母女關係的轉變，有「離婚前-適應-改善」及「維持不變」兩類。五、成長於單親家庭的受訪者其所走過的離婚歷程並非完全相同。六、社會福利資源及手足支持亦是陪伴單親女性走過離婚歷程的重要力量。 依據研究發現對實務工作者提出的建議為：「充權案主，也充權案家」，讓案家有力量陪伴案主走過單親路；此外，實務工作者可協助單親女性看見母親對其的情感與所為，非個人主觀所形成，可能更深受文化所影響。

With the rising divorce rate, the issue of single mothers is attracting more attention. The primary aim of this study is to understand the role of the mother following their daughters’ divorce process, and to explore their interactions and relationships. The results of this study should provide social workers with reference in their practical work. This research used the in-depth interview to collect nine single mothers' life stories, and analyzed the transcripts by narrative analysis. The selection criteria of research participants included: Divorced over two years and not having remarried; having custody of children under 18 years of age; currently receiving or had been receiving social welfare resources. The main findings in this study are as follows: 1. When the research participants consider whether or not to divorce, the role of the women’s mothers is still influenced by traditional Chinese culture. Their mothers ask them not to divorce, to avoid being labeled a ‘bad mother’. However, after the mothers learn about their daughter’s sacrifices in marriage, their affection pushes them to get rid of the shackles of traditional culture. In the end, they support their daughters’ decision to divorce. 2. In the fight for custody, most mothers disapprove of their daughters raising children alone because they do not want to see their daughters having difficult lives. But if there are other people in the family who could help to take care of the grandchildren, they would be less worried about this challenge. 3. In the process of returning to the original family, the role of the research participants’ mothers is restricted to the traditional gender division of labor: listening and domestic support. As for the economic support, these mothers need to provide secretly or receive agreement from other people in the family. Due to the traditional 'face' concept and the Chinese culture, some mothers choose to maintain boundaries with their daughters. 4. There are two types of mother-daughter relationships in the divorce process: ‘before the divorce - to adapt - improved’or‘remain unchanged’. 5. The divorce process, for those who grew up in single-parent family is not the same. 6. Social welfare resources and siblings are the important support force for single mothers. This study suggests that social workers should not only empower single mothers, but also to empower their families so that these families can have strengths to support single mothers in the divorce process. In addition, social workers can help single mothers to understand that their mother’s affection and behavior do not all stem from personal thinking, but are strongly influenced by cultural considerations.