台日「難」婚—離異率最高的異國婚姻

Abstract

近年來台灣跟著世界的潮流邁向國際化社會，國際交流頻繁，與外國人接觸的機會大增許多，國際通婚的現象也越來越普遍。但是國際通婚或許因為有著語言或文化差異，離婚率逐年攀升。根據2008年內政部的統計，台灣的國際通婚中台日通婚的離婚率最高，尤其是台女日男的組合，每三對就有一對離婚。 日本與台灣同為東亞國家，照理說文化習俗應當相近，尤其與歐美相比之下文化差異性應該較小，但離婚率卻高居榜首，令人意外。此篇深度報導訪問了十二對台日夫妻以及台日夫妻的友人、親戚，社會學者、婚姻諮商輔導員等等，從各個層面探討台日婚姻的文化差異，分析台日離婚率高的原因以及背後所代表的社會意義。此篇深度報導聚焦於「不同於其他婚姻，台日通婚所會遭遇的特殊問題」，因此將集中探討台日通婚者可能遭遇的種種外在考驗。 婚姻是相當隱私的話題，再加上筆者聚焦於台日通婚的「問題點」，採訪有一定程度的困難與限制，約訪過程中處處碰壁。最終訪問了十二對台日夫妻，或許樣本數仍然不夠多，但筆者期許能夠深刻描繪這十二對夫妻的故事，呈現台日通婚的種種面貌。此外，為了擴展報導的角度及增加文章的豐富度，筆者也實際走訪日本，訪問現在居住於日本的台日通婚夫妻，期望整篇文章不只是呈現在台灣的台日通婚狀況，也能夠與在日本的台日通婚夫妻的婚姻生活相比對照。 藉由訪談，筆者發現，跨國通婚者可能遇到語言隔閡、文化差異、異社會適應等問題；而台日通婚者可能遭遇的獨特問題則為：台灣人的率直對上日本人的含蓄的民族性差異，兩人相處時容易造成衝突；台灣社會風氣的開放與日本社會的封閉之間的落差，也容易使得台籍配偶到日本生活時適應不良；另外，日本仍存有女性婚後就應全心持家的傳統觀念，若是事業心強的台灣女性，或許得處處壓抑，而許多日本男性重視工作勝於家庭的心態，也易讓台灣女性無所適從。 訪談中，台日夫妻也以過來人身份提供建議，面對上述種種差異，互相尊重對方的文化的心極為重要，異社會適應並非外籍配偶一人的事，本國籍配偶也應當協助。受訪的台日夫妻中三分之二以上都表示，語言溝通能力也是一大關鍵。夫妻中至少要有一方精通對方的語言，溝通才會順利；如果用第三國語言溝通，因為皆非母語，起初或許會互相體諒，但是如果彼此都不精通第三國語言，終究無法徹底溝通。此外，社會學者或婚姻諮詢輔導員等非台日夫妻則認為，跨國通婚的夫妻學經歷相當，婚姻較容易成功。學經歷相當，價值理念也會較相近；再加上跨國通婚是兩個種族結合，原先就存在著國籍不同所帶來的種種差異，若學經歷又相差過大，價值觀的差異也會更大，更難融合。

These years, with the trend of globalization, Taiwan has become more and more international, and there are more and more opportunities to communicate with foreigners. Therefore, cross-cultural marriage has become more and more common around us. However, at the same time, because of the difference between cultures and language, the rate of divorce of cross-cultural marriage is also rising. According to Department of Statistics, Ministry of Interior, among all kinds of cross-cultural marriages in Taiwan, the rate of divorce between Taiwan and Japan is the highest. Especially, the marriage between Taiwanese women and Japanese men held the highest rate- one in 3 to 4 couples will be divorced. In this report, 12 Taiwan-Japan cross-cultural married couples had been interviewed. On the purpose of the balanced report, opinions from a third-person were also included, such as the friends or relatives of the married couples, scholars who are familiar with certain issue, marriage consultant and so on. In this report, the main focus will be on “what is the difference of the marriage between Taiwanese and Japanese from the others.” However, since marriage involves great privacy, there were some obstacles and problems during the interview. During the whole project, about half of the couples refused the interview. Eventually, only 22 married people (including 10 couples and 2 people whose spouses weren’t able to be interviewed) received the interview. Furthermore, I also went to Japan to visit some couples, trying to report the situation of Taiwanese-Japanese cross-cultural marriage in Japan, and pointing out the differences between the situation in Taiwan and that in Japan. Throughout the interviews, I came to realize that people in cross-cultural marriage may confront certain problems such as language barrier, cultural differences, adaptation to the foreign country and so on; while there are also some special problems the people in Taiwanese-Japanese cross-cultural marriages may face. For example, Taiwanese is rather straightforward while Japanese tend to be reserved. The degree of freedom between these two countries is also different. Taiwan is more open and free so when Taiwanese marry Japanese and thus move to Japan, a rather conservative society, they might face some difficulties in adaptation. Moreover, nowadays, some of the Japanese still think married women should stay at home to take care of the household work while some independent Taiwanese may want to keep their job even after they get married. All those differences may lead to some problems or difficulties in the cross-cultural marriages between Taiwanese and Japanese. Through the interview, those married couples suggested that to overcome the obstacles and differences in cross-cultural marriage, first, you have to respect each other’s own differences and culture. More than two-thirds of the interviewed couples agreed that the ability of communication is very important. At least one of the couple must master the other’s language. If couples use a third language to communicate, at the beginning they might give way to each other because none of them is native. But as you proceed to further communication, language still plays an important role. Furthermore, scholars of social science and marriage consultant pointed out that if the couples have similar academic background, their marriages tend to be more successful. If they have similar background, they are more likely to have similar value. Moreover, various kinds of cultural differences are involved in cross-cultural marriages. If the couples have different academic backgrounds, there will be more deviation between them, which will bring more obstacles to their marriages.