「未完成的故事」：婚姻暴力受暴婦女脫離虐待關係的歷程

Abstract

國內以受暴婦女主體經驗危機處的婚暴研究多半將討論集中在婦女經歷的暴力和暴力的影響、婦女的社會支持網絡、求助行為和求助過程中會碰到的困難上，鮮少將焦點延伸至其離開施暴者後的生活。因此討論受暴婦女如何離開施暴者的本土研究雖不致匱乏，但關注的侷限卻使人無法了解其脫離虐待關係歷程的全貌。有鑑於成功的實務工作必須建立在對其關注的問題的詳細了解上，本研究遂決定以受暴婦女脫離虐待關係的歷程作為主題，並討論這對實務工作的意涵。 本研究使用質性研究方法。透過三個婦女機構的轉介，研究者利用自行設計的開放式問卷，和八位現居台北、已成功脫離虐待關係的婦女進行半結構式深度訪談，再以Strauss、Corbin於扎根理論中使用的資料登錄方法分析資料。結果發現國內受暴婦女脫離虐待關係的歷程由五個階段組成，分別是： （一）受暴期：起自第一次暴力發生，止於婦女決定離開之前。和婚姻後期才受暴的婦女相比，婚姻初期受暴的婦女會因為多種因素留在施暴者身邊，包括「對婚姻的承諾」、「不捨子女」、「對施暴者懷有情感」、「維護家族名聲」、「恐懼報復」和「經濟依賴、資訊缺乏」等，其中以「不捨子女」一項最為重要，過去文獻常提起的「經濟依賴、資訊缺乏」則較少受訪婦女提起。留下的婦女會發展出各式各樣的生存策略，以維護安全，營造一個正常的家庭環境。但這些策略並無法完全遏止暴力。本研究發現，暴力不僅會對婦女的身體和情感、家庭內外生活造成影響，也影響子女，包括他們也成為暴力犧牲品、使父子�女關係惡化，並使他們對家失去認同。 （二）覺醒期：起至導火線事件發生，止於婦女決定離開。導火線事件使係指婦女在多次受暴後，終於決定離開施暴者的關鍵事件。本研究發現，最有可能成為導火線事件的是「重大暴力」，其次為「施暴者外遇」。導火線事件的影響，是婦女開始覺醒——領悟到暴力會威脅生命，施暴者毫無情分，維繫婚姻失去意義，施暴者改變無望，並決定結束關係。 （三）準備�行動期：婦女做適當準備、採取行動離開施暴者的重要階段。本研究發現，企圖離開的婦女可能會面臨以下阻礙：心理羈絆、自立能力不足、施暴者阻擋和親人勸阻。她們必須把握以下三個關鍵，才能成功掙脫施暴者控制，否則可能會功虧一簣：心理與身體抽離，採取合適行動，和尋求他人協助。 （四）調適期：指的是婦女成功離開施暴者、正式安頓下來後，生活適應的階段。本研究發現，此階段會出現許多干擾因素，嚴重妨礙婦女此時的生活，包括失落感、離開引起的罪疚與批評、經濟困乏、分離焦慮、單親壓力和施暴者糾纏。如未適當因應，婦女可能會耽溺在過去，無法走出婚暴陰影，甚至是重回施暴者身邊。本研究便發現四項可能使婦女在離開後回去施暴者身邊的原因，包括割捨不下自己擁有的東西、施暴者承諾改變、恐懼施暴者報復和生活不安定。這些婦女回去後皆再度受暴，顯示「維持分離、適應生活」為此階段的重要課題，這有四個關鍵：處理失落感與罪疚、確立界限、克服經濟困乏和靈活運用資源。 （五）復原�成長期：此階段，婦女已從婚暴的陰霾走出，生活不再受此影響，生命也變得更加熟，這是整個歷程的最後一個階段。這表現在以下四個方面：尋回自我；不再恐懼受暴；原諒施暴者，放下過去；和超越創傷，化為助人力量。至此，曾用來標示婦女身分的「受暴婦女」一詞，已成為歷史。 本研究為第一篇完整建構出受暴婦女脫離虐待關係歷程的本土研究。調適期和復原�成長期的建構，釐清了離開施暴者、離開的正向改變和生活適應三者間的關係：婦女離開施暴者只是開始，必須成功適應之後的生活，離開帶來的正向改變才有可能出現，否則婦女仍有可能回到施暴者身邊，再度受暴。這呼應了國外的研究發現。此外，本研究也發現，不捨子女為婦女在受暴後，仍然留在施暴者身邊的主要原因。她們往往為提供子女一個正常的成長環境留下，卻未思及暴力對孩子造成的負面影響。這突顯出維繫家庭此一價值在我國社會中，仍具相當程度重要性。最後，本研究建議，實務工作應根據受暴婦女脫離虐待關係歷程各階段的問題和需求，發展適當的服務回應，包括針對不願離開的婦女，提供針對婚姻暴力的家庭維繫服務。

In Taiwan, most of the domestic violence researches based on battered women's experiences were devoted to discuss the effects various abuses batterer imposing on women living with them, social support networks surrounding battered women and their responses to abuses, and battered women's help-seeking behaviors and obstacles they met, rarely focusing on the life situation they faced after leaving batterers. Therefore, the existing local literature on domestic violence couldn't offer a full picture of the process battered women left abusive relationships. Considering that the successful practice must have the full understanding of the problems they attempted to solve as the foundations, the present research decided to construct the process battered women leave the abusive relationships in Taiwan and discuss its implications to social work practice. The present research employed qualitative research approach. Using the open-ended questionnaire, the researcher conducted the semi-structural in-depth interviews with eight women referred by three women organizations. All of them lived in the Taipei great metropolitan area and had left their batterers and lived a settled life when interviews were conducted. After the interview data were collected and transcribed, the coding techniques in grounded theory developed by Strauss and Corbin were used in the analysis. The result shows that the process battered women leaving abusive relationships in Taiwan consists of the following five stages: 1. The violence-recurring stage: starting from the first violent episode and ending before battered women decide to leave. Compared with the women suffering the first violent episode during the later period of marriage, it is found that those who have battered during the early period may stay with batterers because of following reasons: commitment to marriage, unwillingness to part with children, affections toward batterer, preservation of the family's reputation, fear of retaliation, economic dependency and lack of information. Among them, 'unwillingness to part with children' stands as the most important reason, while 'economic dependency' and 'lack of information' mentioned frequently in the literature seem trivial. To fulfill personal safety and establish a normal living space, those who stay will develop various surviving strategies. However, these strategies fail to prevent batterers from using violence altogether. The result shows the recurring violence have negative influences not only on women and their life inside/outside the family, but their children, such as making them victims of violence, aggravating their relationship with their fathers, and depriving them of the commitment to family. 2. The awakening stage: starting from the occurrence of the trigger episodes and ending with the determination of leaving batterers women have now. 'Trigger episode' in the present research means the key incidents that make battered women finally decide to leave after being abused repeatedly. The two incidents that most likely become trigger episodes are extremely serious violence and unfaithfulness of batterers. Then women who didn't consider leaving a choice start to 'awake', that is, they eventually realize the violence would threat their life, batterers don’t love them, there is no use of maintaining this marriage, or giving up the hope that batterers would change. The result is they decide to end their relationship with batterers. 3. The preparation/action-taking stage: the key period women make relevant preparations and take actions to leave. The result shows those who intend to leave may face four kinds of obstacles: emotional bonds, limited self-sustaining abilities, discouragements from batterers, and dissuasions from relatives/ friends. To get rid of batterers' control, they must master the three key factors: emotional and physical withdrawal from batterers, choice of actions according to their specific situations, and reliance on others' supports. 4. The life-adapting stage: the key period women learn how to accommodate themselves to the new situation after leaving their batterers and settling down. It is found the life women live now may be critically interfered by many disturbances, including sense of losses, sense of guilt and criticisms from leaving, economic difficulties, anxieties for separation from children, pressures of being single parent, and harassments of batterers. Failure to deal with those disturbances may make women besieged with past, or even make them reunite with batterers. Four factors that make women return to former abusive relationships are identified: unwillingness to abandon personal possessions, the promise of changing offered by batterers, fear of retaliation, and unstable life situation. The risk of returning and being battered again made 'maintenance of separation' and 'adaptation to the new life' critical issues, and four key principles are found: reconciliation with the senses of losses and guilt, establishment of boundary, resolution of economic difficulties, and flexible use of available resources. 5. The recovery/growth stage: As the end of whole leaving process, women had truly left what they once suffered to the past and got more mature than before in this period. This fact was showed in the four aspects: rediscovering of self, fearlessness of being battered, forgiving and letting go of past, and helping others with prior experiences. At this time, the term 'battered woman' once used to label these women was no longer appropriate. The present research constructs and outlines the complete process of battered women leaving abusive relationships in Taiwan for the first time. The identification of 'life-adjusting' and 'recovery/growth' stages clarifies and illuminates the relationship between leaving batterers, the positive changes leaving brings, and life adjustment: while leaving batterers is just a beginning, women who intend to end abusive relationships must adjust to the new life situation, too. Otherwise, the positive changes won't emerge and the possibility of reuniting with batterers remains. Besides, it is found 'unwillingness to part with children' is the most important reason that makes battered women stay. They endure and resist abuses to provide their children with a normal environment, but fail to deliberate on the negative effects batterers and their violence had on them. This fact highlights the significance of the value of 'preserving the family' in Taiwan. Finally, it is suggested that social work practice should develop relevant services according to problems and needs battered women in the specific stage of leaving process face, including providing women preferring to stay with family preservation services designed to solve domestic violence problems.